Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 119708 members, 1 online now.
  - 30182 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Toni J Kaukinen

"Never Yank A Fox´s Tail" by Toni J Kaukinen

SciFi/Fantasy text 18 out of 23 by Toni J Kaukinen.      ←Previous - Next→
Elfwood Patron
Tag As Favorite
 
...the character, to those who've had the dubious pleasure to witness in action, is Sebastian, a half-elf with some pretty odd mannerisms and ways of self-promotion. A genuine swashbuckler of the old, with a bit of help from the Lady Luck. Unfortunately this 'story' is more of a short wrote-it-cause-I-needed-something-to-write story than a genuine story...
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
←- Pretty Things with Light and Air - One | St. Croix, Can You Help Me? -→

He refused to believe it at first. The half-elf had, for several weeks, been the very image of tranquility, wit and charm... but this was ridiculous. It was as if a mask had been removed from the fop's face and something very different indeed had been revealed. Granted, locking the half-elf in a tomb after looting it because they figured the arrogant little thing (anything was little in Holt's eyes) deserved a dead lesson was... not a nice thing to do. Holt's opinion of the betrayal differed somewhat over the rest of the party's, but he wasn't going to try to stop five adventurers by himself - or with the strange half-elf's help. He had managed to toss his personal waterskin in the tomb when the others weren't watching, but that offered little consolation.

At first the camp had been silent, but as Holt had woken up, they had realized Gereth had disappeared without his new sword. Gereth wouldn't even leave it behind when he went to the men's bush, so it seemed strange already at that moment. When he had noted the strange dark puddle behind the log he had been sitting on, he'd woken up the others. They had braced themselves for a wolf attack or maybe even a horde of orcs. But nothing had come, so they waited until dawn and started to search for their companion.

They found him by the river, lying lifeless on a rock. A quick burial later they had moved on - taking his share of loot, of course. Gereth, as good a friend as he was, had met an adventurer's death and adventurers had to steel themselves for the inevitable deaths that occured at times. How Gereth died, they didn't know - but as he had no living relatives (at least none he spoke of), the river was a good place for the old farmer's boy to rest.

Autumn was there, spreading yellow and red around the forest - every step they made produced pleasant sounds, at least to the woodsman's ears. The others looked shaken, tired or giddy - sometimes all of the three at the same time. At some point, he realized as he scanned his surroundings and shooed away a way too curious bird, he had forgotten why he was doing this. At first he had done it for his family, but after that Miriam had left with their son, for reasons he couldn't understand.

He kept thinking about it well into the night, but finally fell asleep, too tired to focus. Fate had in store for him another rude awakening, unfortunately: he again woke up in the middle of the night - this time to see that Harris was missing. And Latienne, the mage of the party, had a slit throat.

It was at this point that he was pretty sure it wasn't any animal or orc. He hadn't found footprints the night before, but now he saw - right in front of him - the familiar print of the half-elf's boot. A heavy chopping sound confirmed his suspicions. "Ratagar!" He howled, waking up the last man in the party in addition to himself. Tyren had an axe stuck in his skull - and it looked as if an unsheathed foil was already gleaming in the firelight.

Ratagar, a man almost as big as Holt, had his longsword in hand and was surprised when he saw the half-elf and his blade approach with speed. He was a swordsman, as good as they came, but he didn't recognize all the tricks Holt saw the half-elf use on him. Ripostes, parries, feints - fast cuts and slashes that seemed to skim past his fluid defense.

Holt was surprised to see the silver haired demon glare at him - he barely realized Ratagar was collapsing, his neck cleanly cut.

He was the only to return, though, and one of those who helped contribute to the infamy of the Fox. The familiar guideline after this was: "Unless you've his head on a pike, don't assume he's dead." Sebastian sulked over the issue afterward, but eventually forget the entire ordeal, being the fickle bastard he was.

←- Pretty Things with Light and Air - One | St. Croix, Can You Help Me? -→

DateNameComment 
24 Sep 2003:-) Paul J. Doyle
This is a good start, Toni, but you really ought to flesh this story out and make it into something larger . . . the other commenters hit the nail right on the head.

How did Sebastian become "The Hat"?

(No, Varus, I didn't ask you . . .)

21 Toni J Kaukinen replies: "See, he had this outrageous thing. He was raised in an environment that discouraged flashy clothes, and when he finally got rich enough to get something flashy, he had to make a compromise between good-looking and practical. But, seeing as he wears that big floppy wide-brimmed hat of his almost always... ("Hark! My hat! Hands off!")

And yeah, this is very sketchy. As I've said, I was bored, frustrated and in need of serious venting. Sebbie invaded the stage.

If I were to write this into something bigger, it would take some thinking. Of course, I could write up a "Collected Happenstances of Sebastian" type of story with many different "short short" stories stacked into one. Eh."
12 Oct 2003:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
~ “And Latienne, the mage of the party**** had a slit throat.” << Should be another comma there, me dear. ^_^
~ ‘"Ratagar!" ***he*** howled, waking up the last man in the party in addition to himself.’ << Capitalize, capitalize... Lizecapti...

I’ve been meaning to read this since the first time I hit your site (after falling out of that airplane, you see... Do YOU think K just forgot that my parachute didn’t work? ‘Cause I don’t, but the cops won’t believe me, and Luis says to drop it or he’ll-

Luis: *watches Muffin calmly from a well-lit corner of the site as he files his nails*

-.....

Luis: *lofts an eyebrow*

...*drops to her knees* Master, forgive me... I knew not you were here... That sounded better in my head...

Luis: *blows on his nails, and smiles slowly*). It’s got a good title. Very attention grabbing. ^_^ As to the tale itself: I can understand the venting angle, and frankly, it works as just a little character sketch any way. Plus the ever-fun ending line. Honestly, how did you get that past the Mod’s? They nail my arse to the wall if I spell arse minus the “r” and “e” plus an extra “s”... and for some reason, they don’t like my l33t. +h3y’r3 ju5+ j34|0U5 +h@T T|-|ey d0|\|’t h4\/3 |\/|y l33t 5|
(Luis: *is amused*

*Muffin stands very still, and becomes very quiet*)

Toodles!

13 Toni J Kaukinen replies: "*Fixes said typos.* I sort of always treat question and exclamation marks as commas when they end a bit of dialogue. It's what I see in books, and I learn mainly by imitating styles. ^^;

Urr, it wasn't that graphic, that's why I suppose it got through. And you're right, it works as a good character sketch - because that's Sebbie in a way. It's a side most people who know what else he does don't usually see, anyway.

But dang. Thanks for the comment. This isn't my favourite story, but that was a darling comment.

Mysterious are the ways of the Mods."
14 Oct 2003:-) Sarah E. Condon
I didn't understand for a moment what er...luis...meant by getting it past mod's because truthfully i have seen way more graphic things (Joshua Doten Davids, Doseth series has got some of the bloodiest, gruesomest, scariest er...stuff you will ever read)

I liked the idea behind this story. It was too short though and (amazingly) wasn't as detailed as some of your stuff usually is. I think you could definetly make a longer story out of it or as i believe you suggested earlier make a collaboration of short stories...

either way flesh it out because the story idea behind it is brilliant... 1

1 Toni J Kaukinen replies: "Well dang. Now y'all have given me an idea, see. The ticket's in the queue and I'll have the first of the stories up... I may actually write another Sebastian story just because of that. Short stories, inbound!"
16 Oct 2003:-) Kelinor3
hee, I like this! Bit scary though. I kinda feel sorry for the rest of the party though... 10 write some more!

1 Toni J Kaukinen replies: ""A Night in the Life of: Sebastian" will be in the works. Thanks, and I'll scamper over to your library in a few..."
22 Oct 2003:-) L.A. Richier
Oh yea, baby. I think the Fox should meet my character, Cricket. They'd have a horrid encounter... and, after reading this story, I think Cricket might be the one with more cuts. ^^ And that's a rarity for me to admit that.

I am definitely enjoying your style of writing. It has a nice, solid flow to the entire piece, and nothing really seems to stand out as painfully unneccessary or wrong. You develop characters with just a few words, and that's always a lovely trait for writers. I enjoyed the beginning, though initially I was confused as to what happened. I liked how the party slowly ending up dead from the Fox, but I also agree with the other commentors on perhaps revisiting this and fleshing it out. I do think it looks lovely right now, but I would also love to see a full-er version of it. More work on the narrator and his group of adventurors. Perhaps more information overall, actually. Still, I am loving your style. Impressive work! *grins* I'd love to see what you think of my stories, as I think you'd be one of the more experienced commentors out there. *runs off to read more in the gallery*

1 Toni J Kaukinen replies: "And damn, comments you shall get. Thanks for what you said, and there's a new story of Sebbie being vengeful coming up just as soon as the ticket is checked.

Admitted, then ending was written somewhat less flowingly than the beginning - and there's a reason for that, too. I already admitted I was venting by writing this, but by the time I got to the end I had vented all I needed but still felt the need to end it. So heh, calm and morose Toni finishes angry and ticked off Toni's text. Voilá!"
26 May 200445 D Joelle Duran
Eeeeeaaaaagh! *shudders* I will NEVER yank a fox's tail. In fact, I think I shall stay away. Yes, very far away--

*runs*

*calls over shoulder*
Nice vignette!

:-) Toni J Kaukinen replies: "Thank you! And don't be frightened! He doesn't bite. Much, anyway..."
18 Jun 2004:-) Joshua Doten Davids
very good story, it has a great begining to both characters and i like how it seems to be suggested that the small kindness of the waterskin at the begining is what might have led to the fighter's life being spared. i will definitely stop by to read more of your gallery, just found it by doing a search for my name to get my gallery URl and saw it mentioned here. i got to agree with sarah this is pretty...well it is mild compared to the stuff in my gallery(from Doseth to Geist) and very good story too, keep up the good work be back later to read more.
22 Jul 200445 Kelly Fretwell
*cringes* My mistake...I just saw the name in one of your other titles...silly me...
22 Jul 200445 Kelly Fretwell
Oooh, short! Short is good!...well, not to say I don't like long stories, but I'm beginning to realize I have quite the short attention span...I have to get caught up in something right away if I'm gonna keep at it...and I procrastinate like crazy, avoiding things I don't want to do like the plague...but anyways...the story! I like it, it is quite charming! Is the elf in any of your other stories?
15 Jan 2006:-) J. lawrence
Hey, this is good, but... I can never really tell who's who. It's always nice to not quite know who's talking, or who the bad guy is, but this is confusing... You don't make anytihng very clear at all.
Page: [1] 2
Not signed in...

   Private message?


'Never Yank A Fox's Tail':
 • Created by: :-) Toni J Kaukinen
 • Copyright: ©Toni J Kaukinen. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Adventurers, Betrayal, Half-elf
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Fights, Duels, Battles, Humourous or Cute Things, Romance, Emotion, Love, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 746

Bookmark and Share



More by 'Toni J Kaukinen':
A Night in the Life of: E
An Ivory Tale, Chapter Two: Faithful Hounds and Their Masters
Aftermath
An Ivory Tale, Chapter One: Of Wine, Auspicious Oaths and Primroses
I Steal, Therefore I Am
An Ivory Tale, Chapter Nine: Home is Where the Heart Bleeds

Related Tutorials:
  • '10 Steps to Creating Realistic Fantasy Animals'
  • 'Writing in English as a Foreign Language' by :-)Inger Marie Hognestad
  • 'Writing Lycanthropy' by :-)Jeff Burke
  • 'Writing Action' by :-)S. B. 'Kinko' Hulsey
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]